it's all just dust in the wind...

The day has come and gone now.

Ryan and Kyle and I did our thing at Preakness this past Sunday morning.  Ryan was super pleased how everything went!  Zuke and Darryl were also very happy.  I'm so glad Zuke made it out to see us.  She was wonderful with encouraging words.  And Darryl was great doing the sound board and giving me "thumbs up" when I looked over at him... and Zuke was smiling so big!!  What a great feeling to make my family and vocal coach proud.  haha...  It was so cool though...at least 16 people came up to me to say "great job" or something else nice.  Ryan did a fantastic job leading, and playing guitar and piano...and Kyle was awesome on his violin and djembe.  And at the end of the service after our closing song when I was playing guitar with Ryan, the congregation applauded!  It was so dang cool!  I've never heard them do that before.  I hope I can hear that on the video.

Zuke wrote on Facebook that she wants me to do a solo at church now... hahaha... yeah right.  She and Emma are gonna come do the music and harmony for me.

I am hoping to post a video here as soon as Kyle gets it ready.... I am hoping I can post something that sounds good.  Unfortunately the audio that was recorded through the sound board wasn't that great... so I am really hoping the video is a lot better.

We went out to a Thai restaurant last night, after a day of relaxing and vegging. It was my first time ever having Thai food.  It was Ok, but I don't think I would crave it.  However, I did have some crispy duck for the very first time and it was very good.

flaming ice cream

the boys

For what is your life?

It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.

James 4:14

my new guitar

 I got my new guitar today! It is so amazing and exciting!  I can't believe I got it.

So today we packed up the car and took our music equipment to church to set up for Sunday worship leading.  It went exceedingly well at practice.  Everybody did a super good job!  

We had a great day.  I'm excited about Sunday.

Christmas Eve

Ryan did a fabulous job on his 2 special music songs.  I confess, I get envious of people who get to sing with him.  Ok, let's face it, I am emotional.  I forgot to make cookies for Christmas morning.  I forgot to buy food to make Christmas dinner!!  What is wrong with me?  I feel like whatever I've done to prepare for Christmas isn't good enough.  I miss my daughter and my grandson....I wish my parents didn't live so far away...I wish I had a friend....I'm tired.

Tomorrow is Christmas.  I have no idea what we will have for our dinner.  We might be the only family in New Jersey having eggs for Christmas dinner.  How pitiful is that...

Oh well, I'm so blessed to have Ryan and Kyle here.  I will concentrate on that.  I will think about how God is so faithful, how fortunate I am that that both of my sons are saved.  They are both good godly men who love the Lord and live lives pleasing to Him.  I couldn't have asked for two better sons than them.  I am thankful that they are my friends and that they love me.  And I am thankful that my husband takes care of me.   Tomorrow will end up being a good day, even if I cry at some point.

home for the holidays!

Our wonderful sons are home!!  I've been so busy with them and doing stuff that I haven't had time to write on here.  We finally got our tree decorated the other day, and took a couple of fun pictures to remember it by.  Below are a couple of pictures of the "before" hair cuts.

We had a lesson with Zuke last week to go over the final arrangements for our songs on Sunday.  Zuke loved the boys, and we had a great time with her.  She is coming to church this week to see us sing!! On Wednesday we had our CBC party... and last night we went to the Christmas play at church.  Lots of fun times.  And they will continue as the days go on, to finish off the year.

It's so great having the boys here at home again.  It's like the good old days, lots of laughter, and talking, and singing, and musical instruments playing, and cooking and eating... and silliness!  I do miss that a lot.

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve.  Kyle and I will have the day together... we will go to Grace at 3:00 to see Darryl and Ryan (Ryan is performing a couple of special songs).  We will have dinner there, then head to Preakness for the service there.

Friday we are going back to Preakness to practice for Sunday, and then going to look for a guitar for me for Christmas.  That will be super exciting!

end of year jitters

 This is the ear warmer snuggly thing that Ryan got me that I am wearing...as well as the wishbone necklace that Kyle got me (for my birthday).  The reason I look so worn out is because this was taken at the end of a very long and stressful car ride back home from West Virginia over Thanksgiving.  But alas, I am smiling because of the joy my boys brought me.

Here's Darryl when he was getting prepped for his knee surgery.  Another really long day.  And now,  only 4 days later and he was able to drive himself to church and walk with one crutch.  Not bad.  And as of today I am done giving him injections!  I had to give him 2 each day into his abdomen and that was not fun at all!

So here's what's happening:

My two wonderful sons are driving home from Michigan on Tuesday!  That will be a very long and worrisome day for these 2 parents.  Will be praying for safety all the way home...and nice weather.

On Wednesday, these 2 sons of mine and I are heading to Zuke's for my final lesson before we sing at church.  She has been good enough to arrange all of our songs for us, except the hymn which we hadn't picked yet... and I think all of the songs are going to be great.  We may even get to meet Emma Brooke while we are there.

Oh, who is Emma Brooke, you ask?  Here, check out this song she wrote: Wishing he was you. This is the girl that Zuke is hooking me up with to sing at Preakness.  She is going to sing harmony for me, and Zuke is going to play piano.  That will sure be a sweet day!

Oh yes, let's not forget about the CBC Christmas party.  It'll be fun having the boys there.
Thursday I think we will decorate the tree and maybe put up a couple of decorations in the house so we at least know it's Christmas.  And then the 3 of them will be off to church to practice for the four Christmas Eve services.

Haircuts will be one of the first things done I think.
Sunday is the children's play at Preakness.  That will be fun.
Then we need to rush around and do some Christmas shopping and wrapping.
Christmas Eve service at Grace all day... I wonder where that leaves me for the day?
Christmas comes and goes, and then we sing at Preakness.  Yay!  Can't wait! :-)
Then we need to get the house ready for Hilary and folks from GBC.
Then Ryan's tour begins.
Preakness Christmas Party.
Fun with Kyle and Hilary... skiing?  shopping?  cooking?  New York?

Well, I don't want to get too far ahead of myself.  That's as far as my mental dump is going.  I'm trying to get myself in a Christmas mood, but it's not easy.  Sometimes I don't feel all that joyful.  But like Pastor Karl says, we need to trust Christ and put Him first!  And also, I am thanking God my boys will be here!  At least we will have part of my family with us for Christmas, and I will just have to trust Christ with the rest of them.

When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy. 

Psalm 94:19

'Tis the season

Me and Darryl at a magical Christmas Party :)

I haven’t written for a while.  Truth is I’ve been stressed out about a bad relationship.

Why does everything have to be so difficult?  Why does there have to be so much DRAMA?  Why is there always an edge of unforgiveness and resentment?  How old do I have to get before there is peace?  That’s what I’d like to know.  And I’d also like to know why I am hated so much.

I’ve been accused of not taking ownership of what I’ve done.  I’d like to know exactly what it is that I have done.  I’ve apologized for not being perfect.  Are you perfect?  Romans 3:23 says “all have sinned”.  Every one of us has made mistakes, done things wrong.  No one has ever been perfect except for my Savior; the One I am accused of hiding behind.  I realize this was said to me to belittle me - to make me feel inferior and inadequate, as is normally the case, but there is some truth in it.

Psalm 17:8 says “Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings.”

Colossians 3:3 says “For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.”

I love God’s word.  I’m glad that the life I have in Christ is so obvious that it gets thrown in my face as an insult.  God’s word is foolishness to those who don’t have a relationship with God.  It can’t be understood by them because they don’t have the Holy Spirit living in them.

1 Corinthians 1:18 says “For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.”

1 Corinthians 2:14 says “The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit.”

I guess I have just answered one of my first questions… of why I am hated so much.  It’s because of Jesus.  What other explanation can there be? 

In John 15:18 Jesus said, “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.”

Jesus died for a world that hated him.  What am I supposed to do for those who hate me?  God knew that we would be hated because of His Son.  That message is very clear in the Bible.  When Jesus came to earth He stated (Matthew 10) that His coming would divide families; “turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.”  The truth separates people.

How many times can I turn the other cheek?  How many insults do I need to take?  How much love am I able to give?  These are the things that keep me awake at night.  Sure, it’s easy to say, “Oh just be loving and extend grace.”  Yeah, it’s easy to say.  It’s not always so easy living it.  I’m not even sure what love should look like right now.

This seems to be an on-going, year-by-year saga that never ends, and the air never gets cleared.  I am angry and hurt, but I am thankful that I have a Father in heaven who comforts me.  I pray that one day you will know the love of God, and get rid of all the hatred and bitterness you are holding onto.  I pray that one day my God will be your God, and my Savior your Savior.  I pray that you will receive His forgiveness so that you can move forward with your life.  I pray that with God’s strength I can do His will in this.

Honor your father and mother....or else

Exodus 20:12 “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you. 

Deuteronomy 5:16 “Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you. 

Matthew 15:4 For God said, ‘Honor your father and mother’ and ‘Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.’ 

Ephesians 6:1-3 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”

Looks like a recurring theme.  And at first glance it may seem like this is just an Old Testament command; something for people who lived thousands of years ago; something that we need not bother ourselves with today.  After all, the Bible was written by a bunch of old dudes, right?   I mean, look at our world today.  Nobody really takes this stuff seriously, right? 

It looks to me like God takes this very seriously!   Right from the beginning God is abundantly clear how important this command was.  There would be very good outcomes for obedience. 

1.      “that you may live long”

2.      “and that it may go well with you”

Oh, and what did God say about those who cursed their parents?  Oh yeah, they are “to be put to death.”

Can you imagine what our world would look like if that was a law today?  There wouldn’t be very many people left, would there?  So, again we might think that this commandment is not really for us.  But then wait; it is right there again mentioned by Paul in our present dispensation.  That means it is definitely for us today.  But look around today and what do we see?  We see children who are disrespectful and disobedient to their parents, lying to them, dishonoring them in every way imaginable. 

We see 2 Timothy 3:1-5 is alive and well.

 

 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God—having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.

 

Look, nobody’s parents are perfect.  We are imperfect sinners, every one of us.  We can all point to something our parents did that we don’t like or agree with.  Does that give us the right to bash them, curse them, lie to them, disrespect them, or dishonor them?  Absolutely not!!  We extend grace, and we love and honor them the way we should, even when we don’t agree with them.  That is God’s way!  When we honor our parents it does go well with us.  Try disrespecting them and you will have a heap of trouble on your hands.    The obvious conclusion from Ephesians is that if you do not honor your parents, you won’t live a long life, and things won’t go so well for you.  You want to take that chance?   Do you really want to be remembered as that nasty B?  Not me, man!   I want everyone who knows me to remember the love of Christ.

 

We are here one day and gone the next.  Make it matter for eternity.  Don’t spend your life blaming your parents for all your problems, or resenting them for doing their best.   Grow up and take responsibility for your life and your choices.  Get out of your pity box and make a difference in the world.  Above all else, give your life to Jesus Christ, the one perfect person who died to take away all your sins so that you could live with Him forever.   Do it now before it is too late.  This might be your last chance to get right with God.  

Thankful God provides a cure for cancer

me and Ethan

Dana and Ethan

Thanksgiving Dinner

Happy Thanksgiving!

Here we are in West Virginia visiting with Mom and Dad, and Scott and Flo.  We are having a nice time, but eating too much.  Ethan is getting so big and cute and is really beginning to talk more!  Little kids are so fun when they start talking!

So happy that Mom and Dad are doing so well.  A couple of years ago Dad was so sick and was near death.  Between fibromyalgia, and kidney failure, and possibly a heart attack and God only knows what else was wrong with him, and the doctors said there was really nothing they could do for him.  They sent him home with a bunch of prescriptions, some of which made him feel worse.  My mom did her research and found natural remedies using herbs and vitamins.  Today my Dad is completely free of every prescription and he is well!  Praise God for that.  So thankful that my mom didn't just roll over and accept the word of doctors!

I do a bit of my own research and find it appalling that our medical world rejects natural remedies because no one can make money from them.  Doctors, hospitals, and drug companies WANT us fat, sick, and dying, especially with cancer.  There is so much money to be made from cancer treatments.  It breaks my heart how many people have to go through needless radiation and chemo because doctors won't tell their cancer patients the truth, that there was a cure for cancer 40 years ago.

Just as scurvy was a deadly disease brought on by a vitamin C deficiency, so it is with cancer today being brought on by a lack of B17 in our diets today.  And any doctor who has investigated it and knows the truth is legally not even allowed to tell you about it, or prescribe it.  What the heck kind of world do we live in where it is against the law to cure CANCER!!

Ok, that is the end of my rant for today.  But boy, this sure burns me up.

google it, or watch this YouTube:
G. Edward Griffin - A World Without Cancer - The Story Of Vitamin B17

There are plenty of other videos to watch, but this one is pretty good.  Or get the book by G. Edward Griffin - A World Without Cancer.  When I  bought my first bottle of amygdalin (B17 or laetrile) back in 2007 it was only available from Mexico.  Now you can buy it (or Apricot seeds) directly from Amazon! Cancer does not have to exist in our world.  It is so easy to prevent it.

If you want to be healthy, or if you have a health issue, your first course of action shouldn't be running to your doctor to get a dangerous drug.  It should be to diligently research all the God-given natural resources such as food, herbs and vitamins.  There is a wealth of healing out there if we are willing to do the work to find it.

A Change Is Gonna Come

I got some very nice surprises in the mail from my wonderful sons this week.   Kyle got me a little necklace with a wishbone on it, and Ryan sent the flowers (I think there is something else coming too).  Darryl got me some jewelry and took me out to eat at Mattar's Bistro.  I actually very much enjoyed my dinner because it was something I don't know how to make at home and would probably never try.  I had lobster ravioli.  It wasn't cheap, but it was good!  It's ok to splurge once in a while, and what better time than a birthday?  We even went out for ice cream afterward... HUGE splurge!

Today I took the day off from practicing my song.  I think I am getting way too overwhelmed and frazzled trying to sing it perfectly.  I'm never going to be perfect and I have to be ok with that.  If I get up the nerve to get up on that stage again, I just pray that it is GOOD! (please God?)

I think if I was just singing along with Ryan doing a set (like we did the first time) I wouldn't be that nervous... but doing a solo?  What was I thinking?  Well, I did do that one solo in June and that went very well.  I'm really glad Zuke will be there in church that day!  I hope that in the next month I'm not such a complete basket case!  I really hope that between now and then I can gain some MUCH needed confidence because I'm at an all time low.  I really have to question why I wanted to do this so much.

Oh, in other news, a move to Michigan might be in our future after the boys graduate from GBC.  The one state that I told God I would never move to - good old Michigan.  Yup, very funny. This is the same sense of humor God had when He had me homeschool my boys from kindergarten to college... ME, a highschool drop out.  So I guess now He is preparing me for more changes.  Darryl is finally leaving the government next May.  I'm wondering what that will look like.  It might be a chance for us to take trips... we could go to India or Malaysia or Dubai... lol yeah right.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways submit to him,

and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6

I'm afraid I have this fear of....

The further I go with my vocal lessons, the more I am learning about myself.  Today Darryl asked me what was the main thing I learned that helped me to produce more tone, and not be so closed up.  As I started giving my answer (blowing through a straw), I realized that my problem with singing really helped me identify a problem with ME.  It was a fear issue.  I was literally AFRAID to allow the words, or song, to come out of my mouth. I was afraid of being heard.  Afraid of sounding stupid. Afraid of being made fun of.  And this isn't just about singing.  It pretty describes me and how I have felt most of my life.  I've been afraid to speak, afraid to be heard in conversations, and most definitely afraid to let anyone hear my singing voice.  And what do we do when we are afraid?  We hold everything in.  

The biggest thing I had to learn while taking lessons, is that if I don't breathe out, I can't make any sound.  I know this must sound so elementary and basic to anyone reading this.  But to me, it's huge!  If singing can help me overcome my fear of being heard, I think it can help me in relationships as well.  Maybe I can learn to NOT BE AFRAID to talk to people.  Maybe I can learn how not to be afraid of sounding dumb.  And just maybe I will actually be able to speak without being flustered, or turn red, or have a melt down.  

I'm not sure where all these fears came from, but I know they have affected a good part of my life and made me vulnerable to abusive and controlling men.  I was too afraid to speak my mind and break free from them.  And it has certainly kept me from being able to participate in conversations, because even when I TRIED to speak up, I was either too quiet for anyone to hear me, or I was just awkward and clumsy because I didn't know how to get my words out.  Obviously I wasn't scared and nervous in all situations, because there are times when I talk too much, but certainly it has been an issue in my life. 

I'm so glad I'm learning how to breathe, and how to speak, and how to sing.  It is a great release for me, and a tool for growth. I do have a voice for speaking words and for singing, and I want so much to be able to use it without fear.   I'm so thankful that I won't die with my music still in me.

I, even I, will sing to the Lord; 
I will sing praise to the Lord God of Israel.

Judges 5:3 

While I live I will praise the Lord; 
I will sing praises to my God while I have my being.

Psalm 146:2 

Happy Bird-day to me

Window feeder

My birthday is this month so I went to Walmart and bought myself some bird feeders.  It's fun watching the feeding frenzy out my front window.  There are so many different kinds of birds out there.  They seem happy.  Maybe they enjoy my singing.

Do you ever find that you worked so hard to get some place in life and then you wonder why you are even there?  Or do you ever have a dream or a goal in life that you realize just isn't going to happen?  What happens when you wake up one day and realize your life isn't what you thought it was?  What do you do?  Do you panic, throw up your arms, and quit?  Or do you just stay put and let God sort it out?   I know this much: I'm tired.  I'm tired of being invisible, tired of not belonging, tired of not having any close friends.   Somewhere out there there must be a place where I can have real community.  Where people really care about me, appreciate me, want to be with me, be my friend.  I don't know where that is, but someday I hope God finds it for me.

I'm looking forward to getting away soon.  I think I need to get away for a long time.  Maybe try to figure out what to do with my life.

first sewing project

OK, so here is the purpley shirt I made this week.  It was a little too big, but oh well.  At least I don't think anyone looked at me and thought, "Good gracious... what is that hideous thing Linda is wearing?"  haha... I even got one compliment on it.  Cool, huh?

So, I was sitting in church today and I was thinking about singing my song there.  I was imagining being up on the stage and trying to open my mouth to let out a sound.  It really freaked me out.  I hope that Zuke can show me how to be calm because right now I'm too traumatized from the last time to even get up there and try again.  I have little over a month to get ready.  I wonder what Zuke is going to say to me to get me prepped.   She told me she is not nervous for me at all.  I need some of that confidence!!  I guess what I really need is people who support me...but that is another whole story.

I need to remember, it's not for me.  It's for them.  It's not about me.  It's about Christ coming to earth as a baby.  It's not about my talent.  It's about telling the story of heaven's love reaching down to save the world.

For unto us a Child is born, 

Unto us a Son is given; 

And the government will be upon His shoulder. 

And His name will be called Wonderful, 

Counselor, Mighty God, 

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. 

Isaiah 9:6

do re mi fa SEW

Since I got those videos out of the way this week, I decided to take a little break from guitar and singing and started sewing today.  I was so lucky I got several $20 patterns for only $1.40 each!   And I'm using some of the fabric I bought last year that was discounted by 70-90 %. This purpley thing is going to be turtleneck shirt tomorrow.  If it comes out any good I'll model it.  haha....

And this is what the kids are up to:

April and Ryan doing fun stuff

Ethan and Dana trick or treating

Hilary and Kyle at a football game

I miss them.  I'm so glad I have a lot of different things in my life to do.  I am never bored, never lacking of things to do.  And that is a good thing.

...that you also aspire to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business,

and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you...

1 Thessalonians 4:11

Give me Jesus, He loves me right HERE

Give Me Jesus
  


 Jesus Loves Me
 


HERE
 

Ok, so I'm finally posting a few things for my 2 month guitar update.  I feel a strong need to apologize for my obvious lack of pleasant soundingness, but I guess it is what it is. I have to come to terms with reality.  I am accepting God's will in all of this, whatever that may be.

I know some day down the road I will look back on these times and either laugh, or just shake my head and wonder what on earth was I thinking.

My blooper

Trick or Treat!

Goth - Ryan and April

 I think all they are missing is some body piercings....haha

Harry Potter and the Golden Snitch - Kyle and Hilary

Ok, I have no idea who the Golden Snitch is... but they won first place for their costume.

And we got a visit from 3 cute bears today, probably a mama taking her 2 little ones out trick or treating.  haha... they nearly caused an accident when they started crossing the street as several cars came by at the same time... I saw some swerving going on.  I'm glad nobody got hit.

Tomorrow is the day I'm supposed to record another video of me playing guitar.  I don't think I'm quite ready with that yet, so I'll have to figure out a song to do.

"seller of purple"

Lydia

So, I was Lydia of Thyatira.  I think my costume turned out pretty good, after all my going back and forth trying to figure out how to make it.  Silly me, I was the only leader who dressed up.  I guess some people would say I have too much time on my hands.  Well, I'm glad I did it.  It helped me to overcome my fear of doing stuff outside my comfort zone.  And some of the kids were curious who I was, so that was kinda cool.

And a funny thing happened when I got my sewing machine out.  I realized that I miss sewing.  So, it looks like I better find something to sew very soon.  And I also need to start painting again.  And I also starting rebounding again this week.  I am loving it; getting back in the groove with Theocracy every morning... getting things moving.  It reminds me that it is possible to get back in shape again.

I had my lesson with Craig and Zuke today.  I was nervous about doing it with Craig, but it turned out great.  I learned a couple of things that really helped me have better tone and project a fuller sound, and it actually sounded a bit pretty.  They said I sounded very, very nice doing my song.  They said I will have no trouble singing it in church.  I sure hope they are right because I am terrified.  Zuke was even good enough to volunteer to make me a piano track for practicing since I don't have any other way of doing it.  It's impossible to practice with a youtube!!  The track she made for me sounds awesome!!!


Acts 16:14 Now a certain woman named Lydia heard us. She was a seller of purple from the city of Thyatira, who worshiped God. The Lord opened her heart to heed the things spoken by Paul. 15 And when she and her household were baptized, she begged us, saying, “If you have judged me to be faithful to the Lord, come to my house and stay.” So she persuaded us.

About singing....

....I am feeling so inferior and inadequate lately.  I feel like I'm not getting any better at singing, and I'm getting discouraged.  Today during the sermon, Pastor Karl said, "If God calls you, He will equip you."

Since my mentality was on singing, I took that to mean that if God called me to sing, I'd be getting really good.  I've been doing at home lessons for over a year, and taken 4 voice lessons so far.  I practice a lot, and I still pretty much suck at singing.  So, it made me think that maybe God never called me to sing in the first place, and I'm just spinning my wheels working on something I'll never be good at.  I don't want to waste Darryl's money.  I don't want to embarrass my boys by getting up there and doing a terrible job like I did last time.  I don't want to have the people shuddering and wanting to turn my mic off like last time.  I'm so scared, it's ridiculous.  Why would I want to put myself through that again?  It was one of the most mortifying days of my life, and I'm sure my boys don't ever want to be put in that position again either.  

I only have a few more lessons before I would be singing at church.  Oh God, what am I going to do?  Am I crazy?!!?  Why did I ever think I could sing anyway?  ugh... And it's not like a picked an easy song!  Ugh!

Ok, so today we "appreciated" our pastor.  That was nice.

Joe and Pastor Karl

Ryan and April

And here's another picture of the wild and crazy OFFICIAL couple, Ryan and April.  I kinda hope Ryan gets his hair cut soon...

On Wednesday at CBC we are having the kids dress as Bible characters.  I picked who I am going to be.  I think tomorrow I will make my costume.  I'll give you a clue> PURPLE.

Darryl was trying out his new phone and took this.

The purple Ibanez is back home!

Yes!! I am so excited to have Ryan's old guitar back home with new strings on, and it works great!!   (thanks to John) Can't wait to get any good at it! This is a wonderful day!  I have tons of stuff to learn.  :)

Ryan and April

They aren't Facebook legit yet (lol) but they are in a relationship, so I wanted to post a couple of pictures for our memories. So glad Ryan is enjoying the company of a very wonderful, fun and spontaneous girl.

oh no! oh no!

I just had to share one of the pictures from the session with Craig after my first singing bit.  He gave me great advice and direction!  Can't wait to put it all to use.

So, today I finally picked a song that I'm going to do in December when the boys get home. At last I made up my mind. I figured since it will be near Christmas, I picked a song with a Christmas theme. One of these days I will do a video of me singing it and post it here. lol

Master Class with Craig!

After church in Rockaway Darryl and I had very cool and exciting time at the Master Class with Craig Deuchar today.  What a super cool guy he is, so funny and so talented!  I'm so glad we went. I think the things I learned today will help me a lot with my singing.  We started out doing a lot of hugging, and then went into some funky vocal exercises on the mats, and with straws, and finding our perfect "buzz" singing position (face/jaw/resonance/neck, etc).  Some of it was the "voice/body/mind connection work from Fitzmaurice Voicework and some of it was from Estill voicework.   I was one of the lucky ones that got to sing, so I received some very good personalized help from Craig.  I'm glad Darryl took a video of it so I can remember all the things Craig said to me.  It was hard to get up and sing in front of a bunch of really good singers.  But it was nice having Zuke there.  She told me she was proud of me, and that really made my day!

So, on Wednesday I have a lesson with Zuke because Craig is going to NYC.  But my next lesson after that will be with him.  I'm glad I have a couple of weeks to practice before I sing for him again.  I want to show him some major improvements!

It was a good day.

Harvest Fest

Darryl and I went to the Harvest Fest at Grace Church today.  It was nice, and a little awkward, as usual, seeing folks I used to be "friends" with.  Some of them came over and hugged me with big smiles and real concern.  Others walked past and avoided eye contact.  But Kenny talked to me and he really made my day.  He said he didn't think that most people could just pick up the guitar and learn to play, but he said I have the determination to do it and he thinks I can do it.   I forget his exact words, but man, it sure was nice to grab ahold of a little nugget of encouraging and positive words from someone like him.  It made me smile all the way home.

I'm so glad that I have music in my life right now.  I don't know how I would get through my days without it.  It's the glue that is holding me together.  I think without this outlet for my energy and emotions I would fall apart daily missing my boys.  It's a much harder transition than I ever thought.  Sometimes I feel like I'm going through this intensely slow surgery that cuts away a little piece of my heart each day.  Being a stay-at-home mom and being with my boys was the best thing I ever did with my life.  The growing distance between us now is hard to get used to.  I know in time it will be ok, I just don't know when that will be.

Tomorrow is our 3 hour Master Class with Craig Deuchar!!  So psyched about it.  Darryl and I are going to Grace church in Rockaway because he is leading worship, and then we are headed to the class.  It is going to be super amazing...

Excitement on Mountain Road

Yay, they finally started the actual paving of our road today.  Here's a view at our driveway when we went for our walk this morning.  Some of the crew are getting to know us.

Not much to report on.  I spent the day in the kitchen making trays of Enchiladas, and soup, and almond butter, and who knows what else.  I have to have days like this now and then.  My finger tips are so damaged and painful that I promised myself I would try to lay off of the guitar until they heal.  I'm not even going to take a guitar to work with me tomorrow, just to ensure I really don't play.  Tomorrow night Darryl can put my new strings on the guitar that I am hopefully getting back from John tomorrow.  It's so exciting.  I can't wait to get back on it and learn more stuff.  I have a couple of songs I want to learn.

Tomorrow is balloon night at CBC.  I remember balloon night from last year.  It was right around the time my blue car got hit in the church parking lot.  Yeah, I sure have some memories from that night.