the END is the BEGINNING

Well, we came to Michigan with the intention of looking for a new home.  We went out every day we were in Grand Rapids and we looked through many homes.  Some were perfect inside but we didn't like the property.  Or the property was super nice, but the house was yucky.  Or the house was awesome but the neighborhood was like a horror film.  On our last day out with our realtor we made up our minds that we probably would not find anything suitable and would come back and look again over the summer.  But then as soon as we saw this one in Wyoming, Darryl and I both knew this was the one for us.  We both loved it and knew it would be perfect for us.

After the graduation yesterday we went and officially signed the paper work to make it ours.  This week the house will be inspected, and all the legal balls will start rolling to make it happen.  The house is perfect on the inside, super awesome on the outside, and the neighborhood seems delightful. We are all excited for this new chapter in our lives, even though we don't know what it will be like for sure... but this much we do know, God is in control and we trust him completely.

So, the question I posed a few weeks ago about whether or not I would fight God every step of the way seems to have been answered.  I'm not fighting.  I'm surrendering.  I'm being obedient.  I'm going where my boys are because I don't want to miss any more of their lives.  I want to have friends, and in Michigan, I already have people who love me.

Our home will be one where all our friends and family are welcome to come and have fellowship.  I'd love to see the place booming with people, coming in to visit, hang out, eat, sit by the fire, play guitar and sing.  I'd love this to be the place where my grandchildren come and play.  You know, I might even get a dog now that I have friends to come take care of it when I'm on vacation!   It will be a wonderful new life, and one that I've longed for, where I am close enough to people who genuinely care for me and my family.   And we will no longer have to miss our sons' day to day lives.

fenced in back yard

gurgling waterfall

sits on a culdesac

play house is big enough for adult sleepovers!

back of home

DeeDee and Scott came over to see our new home

Hilary and Abbey next to the free pool table

Kyle admiring the cool trees 

our awesome Realtor, Joey in the blue

fenced in yard (left side)

fenced in yard (right side)

back deck

I know it's going to hurt me so bad to leave my beloved New Jersey, where I've spent my entire life, and my home church, where I have served since May of 2009.  In fact it's painful just to type these words.  My eyes swell up with tears at the thought of leaving.  But I know in my heart that I'm doing what is right and good.  So even though the hurt is deep, I know that if I don't go I will continue to live an isolated existence, and there is really nothing worse than that.  I believe God has called me to do more than that.

Graduation from Grace Bible College

the Vegh family

President Ken Kemper and Kyle getting his diploma

Ryan walking with High Honors

Ryan got an award for Worship Arts from Dr. Jason Werkema

Kyle and Hilary

me and Ryan right before leaving his house in GR

This mom is so exceedingly proud of her homeschooled boys.  They have grown in the Lord, and followed his leading.  They worked hard and achieved very high grades, graduating with High Honors.  They both received an award; Ryan's was in Worship Arts, Kyle's was in Biblical Studies.  It was truly a momentous occasion for this family.  I will always be grateful to my pastor for introducing us to the college that he graduated from.  It truly was a one-of-a-kind college experience. And what began in the basement of my Flanders home with Christ Centered Curriculum, has now found it's fulfillment.

To God be the glory as they go out from here and impact the world for Christ.

We had a very nice graduation celebration with the Rolf family.  What a wonderful, loving family!

I will be posting more pictures or videos as I find them on my various devices.

Songs at Ballard

These are the songs that Ryan did at Ballard Church last week.  So stinking proud of him for all he's been working on!

Kyle's violin recital

We had the privilege to attend Kyle's violin recital.  I'm so happy we were there to hear him perform.

The Ensemble's first song to open the ceremony.
Christ The Lord Is Risen

Kyle's violin solo
Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring

Ensemble's closing song
Polka San Antonio

After the ceremony, the 2 graduates were presented with these plaques with their names, and then we had some homemade Polish appetizers. All in all, a very fun experience.  Happy we could be here to be a part of it!

the last Chapel

I forgot to post this earlier.  This is from the last chapel at GBC, which was done by the Senior class, and led by Ryan.  Ryan did an amazing job playing drums, and he also performed this spoken word, but unfortunately due to technical difficulties, we only got a portion of it.  I cried my silly momma eyes out listening to this.

Ryan at Founders

This is where I exit the stage and Ryan performs 2 more songs at the open mic at Founders.  He did a wonderful job!

Finding it Hard

Taste and See

Only Hope in Wyoming

Here is a fun song Ryan and I did at our hotel last night.  This is a Jon Foreman song. He wrote it as a personal prayer to God.  I've always liked it and I've been trying to play it on guitar. But Ryan is the one who totally rocks it.  I enjoy singing with him so much.


And it looks like I might be able to sing with Ryan more often because today we put an offer in on a house that we loved in Wyoming, Michigan.

Lay Me Down in the brewery

Here is a song Ryan and I did at Founder's Brewing Co. in Grand Rapids




Sadly, I didn't realize my monitor wasn't turned on.  Next time I will know better to check that first! All in all, it was a super fun night, and singing in front of hundreds of people was definitely a new experience for me. Funny thing was, I was less nervous than when I sang for a small room full of people. Lots of folks (including the guy running the open mic) came over and said I did a good job...even though it wasn't perfect. Because of our hectic schedules we only had a chance to run through it once right before getting on stage while it was very noisy.  It was a great time with Ryan!

Resurrection Monologue

This is a wonderful monologue that Ryan presented at an Easter Sunday service at his church.   You can click on it, and then close your eyes, and just listen...because there is no video.

blindly dancing through Michigan...

So here we are in Michigan. Alysha's wedding was nice.  I missed my Dad terribly when they were doing the father/daughter dance.  I cried... then Ryan took me dancing, I think to cheer me up. And it worked.

Let's see, we visited with Aunts and brothers, and cousins and nieces and nephews, and x's... Lot of relatives here.  Can't believe how huge that wedding was.   wow...

We had a couple dinners out.  Will be having plenty more. Gotta try so hard not to overeat!!  But ya know, when folks get together that is what they do.

Been going to The Lifetime gym here in Canton.  It's enormous! Pool, rock climbing wall, hot tubs, sauna, basketball, racket ball, all sorts of classes and equipment....actually I haven't even seen it all yet.  haha... It is a little intimidating.   But I was happy that we could go there for the whole week for free!

I broke my glasses so I was blind for a few days, trying to get by with reading glasses, but they were killing my eyes.  Now I can see again.  I love Walmart.

Ok, so even though I wasn't totally understanding the whole "take time off" from my duties at church, I am beginning to appreciate the break.  I'm trying to relax, sing, play guitar, and think.  I can't say that I've come to any earth-shattering revelation really....but I'm working on it.  Maybe nothing will come to me.  But I am chilling, as I've been instructed to do! haha

I haven't had time to work on my song at all yet... but I did have a blast playing guitar for all the company here visiting the other day.   They joined in singing, and it was wonderful!  A couple hours later my fingers were dying.... played till almost 11:30!  What a joy that was!  But ya know, if people keep asking me to sing and play I will, even if my fingers are crippled.  I haven't been able to play much for the past 2 days.

the Vegh's

Austin, Hilary, Kyle, me, Ryan

mother and son dance

it's time...

Well, here we go...early tomorrow morning starts our adventure in Michigan.   I'm excited, anxious, nervous, sad, and happy...   Can't quite settle my stomach, or my thoughts.  Indeed, I have a lot to settle in my mind on this trip.   I hope I can find things to do to keep busy.  I fear I will be sitting there by myself (especially the first week) doing nothing...except thinking.  I can't do any work for church because someone else has taken it over for the next 3 weeks.  So, not only will I be missing everything that is going on at church, but I can't even be a part of it.

Maybe it's a good thing that I'm being forced to get it all out of my system.
Maybe this will force me to finish my next song.
Maybe it's time to learn how to have a life in Michigan.
Maybe I will love Michigan enough to leave my beloved NJ.
Maybe we will find a house to buy.
Maybe I will finally have some friends if I move out there.  Based on the boys' experience, the people out there are really friendly.  So that is something wonderful to look forward to.  Some day I hope to have a close friend!  I am so lonely.

Yeah, there's a lot to settle in my mind.  I need to figure out where I'm going with my life.  I had goals and dreams the past couple of years, but those things seemed to have alluded me.  For most of my life I'm alone, so I need to think long and hard how I want to live and what I want to be doing.  I have spent all my adult married life living for my boys (and husband).  I have given all, and done all for them.  I have made sure they were homeschooled, taken care of, and given the best opportunities we could give.  They are fine now, they are settled, they are on their way.  But I've never had the opportunity to do anything specifically just for me.  This is my time.  Time to figure out how to live my life.

I sing a lot about how much I trust God with my life.  How I trust him to take me into deeper waters, beyond the border of my faith.  This is my test.  Do I really trust him, or will I be fighting him all the way?  I pray I can be willing to surrender everything to him.  I pray I can humble myself under his mighty hand.  From where I stand, leaving NJ will be the hardest thing I've ever done.  Picking up my roots, my whole life, and leaving everything?  But then again, I have to ask myself, what am I really leaving behind?  Is there anything in NJ that keeps me here?  Only God can answer that for me, and I will accept his answer.

a song in my heart is a song on my lips and a song on my guitar....

Remember a while back I posted that I was finally declaring my song For You was done?  And then just the other day I posted it again saying I had tweaked it?  Welllllll, I confess, when I listened back to it, I was not happy with it.  So, it's back to my studio for a re-do... AGAIN.
I promise you, this one will be much better.  haha... yep, that's the way it is.

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who does this to their songs.  I remember Zuke telling me she had many renditions of her songs.  And I'm pretty sure Ryan does the same thing.  :)

Oh, and it looks like I will start getting Skype voice lessons from Ryan!  And now that he's a professional vocal coach (and guitar teacher), he's not "cheap".  

Oh, and this Sunday (Easter) is the grand debut of our new church choir.  I had mistakenly assumed that having the choir do a special music meant that it was just going to be the choir singing the special music....but in reality it's going to be the band singing the whole song.  Some of the choir will join in at the second verse, and then Lori and I jump in at the end to do harmony - not much of a debut.  It should be kinda funny having the two of us standing up there doing nothing except looking like dummies....oh well, at least we can laugh about that together.