things left undone

sneakers on the floor
cigarette butts in the ashtrays
a clean truck in the garage
a book open to its page

things left undone...a life still being lived, but yet it's not

This is the beginning of my new life.  That is, my life without my father.
And yet, this is the beginning of another new life; the life my dad has in eternity.

It's true; there was still more life that could have been lived here, but we only see this side of it.  We don't see the full picture.  And even though it still stabs at my heart to speak of my dad in past tense, I have to remind myself that his life continues in a place that I can't even dream of.  Before, he only knew things in part, but now he sees it all. This life is so short, so fleeting, so momentary... in comparison to eternity.

James 4:14
The reality is you have no idea where your life will take you tomorrow. You are like a mist that appears one moment and then vanishes another.

My mind surely cannot comprehend the wonders in store for those who have trusted in Christ.

1 Corinthians 2:9 
But, as it is written, “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him”—

I mourn for my loss, but I rejoice at the knowledge of my dad's faith.  I am learning that God's grace is greater than my tunnel vision.  I'm learning that we don't have the clear answers that we thought we had.  I'm learning that God can, and does, reach hearts that surprise us.  His mercy is beyond what we perceive.

So, while my mind is still spinning trying to absorb the shock of my dad's death, I feel, in a way, that I have made it my intent to carry on his life in me.  I am, after all, 50% him.  So, I will wear his shirts and his hats, and I will keep him alive in me, I will remember him while remembering who I am...  I will try to live with the same great work ethic he had, and with the same great sense of humor, and to try to keep myself fit and strong; I will remember "all things in moderation", I will take care of my family, and I will continually praise the One who made me.

John 5:24
Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life.

John 6:40 
For this is the will of my Father, that everyone who looks on the Son and believes in him should have eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day.”

If you are reading this and you don't know if you are saved or not, ask yourself this: do you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ?  If you're not sure, ask Him right now to forgive you of your sins and accept the free gift of salvation that He died to give you.  Trust in Jesus.  Receive Him as your Savior today and know that you will be with Him in heaven forever.

We never know what day we will leave our things left undone.

 John 14:6 
 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

honoring and missing my Dad

Here is the obituary for my Dad.

Ernest W. Little Formerly of Oldwick Ernest W. Little, age 88, of Buckhannon, WV died suddenly at his home January 31, 2015. He was born in Morristown, NJ, the son of Ernest W. and Christine Harding Little. He is survived by his wife, Dorothy Holdridge Little with whom he recently celebrated 65 years of marriage. He is also survived by his two daughters: Bonnie L. and husband David of Pittstown, NJ and Linda J. and husband Darryl of Flanders; two sons: Douglas and wife Lynne Little of New Castle PA. and Scott and his wife Flo Little of French Creek, WV. ; nine grandchildren, ten great grandchildren and 2 great great grandchildren, one sister Virginia Kenworthy; and three brothers: Gordon, Stuart and Pierson. In addition to his parents he was preceded in death by one daughter Debra Dale Little and one brother Wallace Little Mr. Little was a veteran of the US Army Air Corp, having served during WWII. He was the owner of Morris County Electronics in Dover, NJ for many years before becoming a police officer. He retired in 1991 after serving as the Chief of Police in Tewksbury Township. After his retirement he moved to a farm in West Virginia which he and his wife lovingly restored. He enjoyed his life there and was blessed with many wonderful friends and neighbors. Online condolences may be extended to the Little family at http://heavnerandcutright.com/id564.html. In accordance of Mr. Little's wishes there will be no services at this time. Published in Hunterdon County Democrat on Feb. 6, 2015 - See more at: http://obits.nj.com/obituaries/hunterdoncountydemocrat/obituary.aspx?pid=174077602

John 3:16

For God expressed His love for the world in this way: 

He gave His only Son so that whoever believes in Him 

will not face everlasting destruction, but will have everlasting life.

Darryl and I are in West Virginia with my Mom, sharing memories, getting a few things done, doing some crying, honoring my Dad's life.  I'm glad we are here.  

my Dad

There can be no peace, no comfort, no joy;
when someone you love dies
and you're not sure if they knew Jesus.
There can be no genuine smile, or laughter;
in the unknowing.
There is only pain, and many tears.
There is only sadness and regret.

Why didn't I try harder?
Why didn't I say more?
How can I go through life now;
without the assurance?

So many memories,
over so many years.
They come flooding back when I least expect it.

I hear that familiar voice,
that familiar laugh,
that familiar expression.
I see his face.  I hug him.  I tell him I love him.
But I can't say goodbye.
My heart is broken.

People have said that we can't know for sure the state of someone's heart, or whether they had accepted Christ as their Savior at some point.  So, I will hope in God that at some moment in his life, he did.

"O my soul, why are you so overwrought? Why are you so disturbed? Why can't I just hope in God? Despite all my emotions, I will hope in God again. I will believe and praise the One who saves me and is my life, my Savior and my God." - Psalm 43:5

update:  I recently found out that my Dad did have a personal relationship with the Lord, so I am praising God for this!  Now I can know that I will see him again in glory.