the funny farm

We had at least 11 deer in our front yard today knocking each other over to empty the bird feeder.  It's really cool to watch them.  They can see us in the front window but I think they are getting used to us.   Today some turkeys came over for some seed as well.  m~m~m nice plump turkeys...

Worked on getting the house ready for the kids, and buying food, planning meals.  We didn't finish yet...but made good progress.  Darryl is telling me not to stress over it.   I can't believe they will be here tomorrow night!  

where do i go from here?

Well, I'm sure glad I met with Emma today.  Ever since my last lesson I've been concentrating on doing my song in the lower key (how I sang it on yesterday's post), and then today we took it back up to the original key.  haha... so at least now I can practice it with my guitar.  I can't wait to listen to the recording from our practice today to see how horrible or great it was.  I wasn't as nervous today, which is why my vocal chords were more cooperative.

I am beginning to think that the reason Emma and I met is so that she can find a church home.  I was happy when she told me she is coming to church Sunday....with her family!  I hope they will be happy at Preakness.  Not only will Emma be at church Sunday, but also Kyle and Hilary and 2 of their friends will be there!  It will be so sweet to see them and have some laughter and activity in the house.

I am beginning to wonder why I am taking vocal lessons, and why I'm learning guitar.  I'm wondering what I'm going to use them for.  I mean, sure I can sing and play in my living room.  But I don't know what my ultimate goal is.  Where am I headed?  My desire to sing and play tends to cause problems for others.  I know from my experience worship leading with Ryan and Kyle that the only way I'm going to make any good progress is to actually get out there and do it with someone.  I miss having Ryan here because just playing guitar with him that one time was awesome and very beneficial... but I've had no more opportunities like that since he left.  Sometimes I just feel like I'm going to burst.  Sometimes I get really depressed because I have no outlet.  Sometimes I feel really alone.  I just keep strumming along...but I can't help wondering if I'm wasting my time.

I'm not complaining.  I'm just venting...thinking...wondering...because I obviously don't know the future. So, I'm trying to be patient.  I'm trying to wait for God's timing.  I can't help but wonder what God has in store.

Loneliness

Proverbs 16:9

A man’s heart plans his way,

But the Lord directs his steps.

songs from the heart

This first song I decided to record for my guitar playing progress, even though technically it hasn't been 6 months yet. Oh well, I just felt like doing this one.  Sadly, I didn't have the mic loud enough.

 

This next song I had actually recorded earlier in the day. But then I decided to do it one more time because I was feeling very emotional, and Zuke told me I should sing when I want to cry because it gives the voice a good sound. So, this is my emotional song. It is difficult singing acapella, but I did it anyway, because I am not that great at playing this song in the new key.

 

I'm going to practice with Emma tomorrow.  I'm hoping it goes really well with her on guitar.  I'm excited to see how her harmony sounds with me singing.

brrrr....fun memories

Here we are at Spruce Lake in the Poconos.  My first time ever snow tubing.  It sure is nice having these pictures to remember the fun weekend with my church family.  I hope we can do it again next time.

amusing myself

Yesterday I finally met Emma.  She is amazing!  She was able to figure out all the chords and play them on her guitar within the first couple of minutes of hearing the song we are doing.  She and Zuke decided to lower the key because they want me to sing this particular song in my lower register.  I sure I hope can sing the song well enough to make them both proud!  Emma and I will get together again next Wednesday and then I won't see her again until probably April.

I went to ShopRite today and I realized how little it takes to amuse me.  I saw this package of octopus and it made me smile.  I don't know why... but maybe it's because in my little world, we don't eat squiggly things like that.  I have no desire to put this stuff in my mouth!

And later I noticed a large herd of deer coming out of our woods in the back.  Next thing I know they are all right outside our front window looking for food.  There was nothing in the bird feeders and the local ShopRite wouldn't give me any old bread.  Soo....they went away hungry...

"hey, Linda!! take care of us!"

I've been wanting to record another song for my blog, and I tried to do one the other day, but unfortunately every single time I tried there was something wrong with it.  I either didn't hit the right note singing or I messed up the chord...so I will have to try again another day.  I don't want to post things that have mistakes if I can help it.  But I do definitely want to post something by the end of the month for my 6 month progress.  I am learning a lot of new songs and so I'm quite happy about that.   It will be hard to pick which one to record.

Since I've been learning guitar I've mostly been concentrating on doing the chords the CCM cheat way, which is fine for most worship songs, and preferred by worship leaders.  But after watching Emma play, I have decided to put way more time and effort into perfecting them the "right" way without all the cheating.  I will probably still use the standard cheat chords if I want to, but I don't want to always have to.  I want to expand out and even do barre chords and a proper F chord with ease.  Today I also attempted to play without my pick, and that was another fun experience.

I got a Mastering Harmony course from Singing Success.  My harmony is getting pretty good these days, so Darryl rewarded me by buying it for me to help me gain even more singing success... haha...pun... I'm psyched to start it tomorrow.

Our snow should be melting tomorrow.  Hope this is the last of it.

defying gravtiy

cool, huh?

Very soon it will be warm enough to sit out on the deck and enjoy the sun.  When it is, you will know where to find me; on the deck or in the pool.

living on a shelf

Sometimes life is like sitting on a shelf.  We're sitting up there…waiting for something, but we're not sure what.  Maybe God is going to take us down and use us.  Or maybe we are going to be sitting up there a long time…getting old and dusty.  Maybe we're waiting for an opportunity to shine.  Or maybe we will never shine.  Maybe our only purpose is to help someone else shine.  Maybe we will always have an ‘audience of ONE’. 

Things can go wrong on the shelf.  It’s not always fun.  It can be very lonely there.  People can walk by and look at us.  Some of them pay attention to us.  Some ignore us. 

Living on a shelf…even though it might look like we’re sitting still, we’re not.  We’re preparing, working, thinking, planning, praying, and trusting. We know we can’t get down off the shelf on our power.  Someone has to touch our lives.   We need to be careful who we allow to touch our lives.  Someone might come along and try to rearrange us, move us, or “dust” us.  We could end up in the wrong place or worse yet, being knocked off the shelf and shattered to pieces. 

Living on a shelf...it forces us to prioritize because we don’t know what is going to happen next.  It’s like an “in between” place.  It can be a very quiet place.  It’s a place where we can’t force anything to happen.  It’s a place of patience, a place of trust.  If we allow our hearts to stay calm there, we can be content.  We can seek the Lord in faith, knowing that He has our lives under control. 

He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much;

and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much.

Luke 16:10 

Snow and other happenings...

A nice picture of Hannah, Kyle and Hilary on their way skiing. 
Really nice smile, Kyle! 

Ryan and April....

Ryan just turned 22!!!  Happy birthday to my wonderful son.

We got a Nor'Easter today.  We got about 18 more inches of snow on top of the foot we already had.  

Darryl cleared the driveway, and I did the front walk.

 Our park bench was pretty much buried.

It just keeps on going...

 and going...

Mucho mountains of snow everywhere...

I've been spending some quality time practicing guitar.  I do enjoy it so much and I have been making some cool progress...and I look forward to getting better and learning more all the time.  I have over 30 songs in my folder that I practice.  Pretty amazing, huh?  Today I worked on standing up to the mic and singing while playing.  I want to be comfortable with it and I feel like practicing at home is going to really help.  I noticed on Facebook that Emma is going away for 3 weeks in March, so we might not be doing our special music after all.  I'm learning the song on guitar, so who knows, maybe I can do it by myself...or better yet, maybe do it with the boys over spring break. 

Tonight we went out to supper for Valentine's Day... haha... It was a nice break from cooking.  We had a really good meal and a lot of fun.  I am thinking we should do that more often. 

music is what feelings sound like

So I had to go for an CT Scan the other day.  As it turns out, I have small hernia, but it’s not that big of a deal. 

Getting ready to enter the CT Scan

And so based on that “good” news, we decided really late in the day to go on the church retreat with Preakness.  We got there late, but it was ok.  The next morning we did a little snow tubing and that was sure fun coming down, but pretty tiring climbing back up the hill.  Darryl and I enjoyed the company of a few of the people from church, and I was happy that they included him in such a nice way.

The retreat was at Spruce Lake in the Poconos.  It was a nice little place, although we didn't really get to see all of it because we weren't aware of what all was there.  I was invited at the last minute to play a couple of children's songs on my guitar.  That was fun, but also a little awkward because I wasn't allowed to use the amp, and we had no words on the screen, so nobody knew what I was actually singing.  Oh well, I did my best with it and tried to have the same attitude my boys would have.  And that really helped!  I also “got to play” 10,000 Reasons, Shout To The Lord and In Christ Alone from the back even though no one heard me except Darryl because he was standing right next to me, but he said I did a great job.  I’m glad I brought my music with me.

I would have to say, the BEST part about the entire retreat was my Saturday.  I spent most of the day in the Lodge playing my guitar and singing.  I played for hours, and my fingers were so sore!!  One man who was on his guitar on the other side of the room told me how much he enjoyed it, and that he was following along with me.  He invited me to come back later to play with him.

Rob Cruver

Rob, me, Darryl

Then a while after that, a few men from a men's retreat sat down by me and I was going to stop playing, but they were like, “No, don't stop. It sounds lovely.”  Then Darryl came and joined us, and the group of us had a great time talking and singing.  A short while later Rob Cruver, the Pastor from Zarephath came over and sat down with us (I met him at breakfast).  He was so nice!  He took such an interest in our lives and talked to us about how we met, about our marriage, about our boys and their lives, and about Dana, and about how she was raised, and all sorts of things.  We laughed and talked, and Darryl cried… haha.  It felt so nice to be talking to someone who genuinely took an interest in our lives, and not just shallow polite talk.  It made the whole trip worthwhile to us.

That night at dinner, a man came up to me and said he would like to get me in the Kimmel Center.  I smiled and thanked him.  He was like, “Yeah you sounded so good I'd love to get you in at the Kimmel Center.”  So I thanked him again, and then I looked up on my phone to find out what the Kimmel Center was because I had no idea.  haha.. Boy was I surprised!

Oh yeah, I also got to play while Darryl and I sang In Christ Alone for a couple from our church as well, and that was a sweet time together.

Those 3 days were very encouraging to me as a musician and singer.  It was especially encouraging to get such nice feedback from people who don't even know me, people that chose to play with me, and hang with me while I'm singing and playing.  It meant so much to me to be validated in the same way Darryl and the boys validate me.  It gave me the spurring on that I desperately needed to keep pursuing musical things.