practicing some new songs after the bust

Darryl was happy to get the go-kart going again.  Man is it nice!

Our garage sale was a bust...we virtually broke even.  Kinda depressing... but I know, "it's all in God's timing."  In quotes because I have to keep telling myself that.  Man, I think about all the work we put into it, and BAM nothing.  We had planned to sell a lot, but God had other plans which didn't include success.  I should be used to that, huh?

We've had no more showings on our house.  Gee, I wonder what God has in store for us with that whole thing.  It's been almost a month, and I'm thinking it might be time to lower the price... I don't know.   I surely thought we'd have an offer by now....

So, here is the other song I was thinking about on Father's Day.  I finally got around to recording it. And as I have said before, they do sound better with headphones or ear buds.

These 2 videos aren't flawless, but then again, if I was perfect I'd be singing at church, right?

Strong God


And this is another song that I love.  Ryan and Kyle and I did it at church a couple of years ago.

Hallelujah, What A Savior


I've decided that my next project will be learning the songs on Frontline's song list. That will give me something to work towards, for when I have the courage to audition.

Father to the fatherless

This is one of the songs I was thinking about during the Father's Day sermon today... I couldn't wait to get my guitar out and sing!  Maybe I will do the other one tomorrow!!

It's called Esther, by Esterlyn (lyrics below)
(awesome song!)


He heals the brokenhearted, He binds their wounds.  He is love
He finds those forgotten, those have been abused.  He is love
He knows your name

A Father to the fatherless, a healer of the brokenness
You make beauty from the ashes
A helper to the helpless, a fighter for the hopeless
You love those who are alone, those who are alone

He comforts the lonely, He hears their cry.  He is love
He holds the children throughout the night.  He is love
He knows your name

A Father to the fatherless, a healer of the brokenness
You make beauty from the ashes
A helper to the helpless, a fighter for the hopeless
You love those who are alone

Give us your heart, Lord.  Help us to love the unseen
And give us your eyes, Lord.  Help us to love those in need

You're a Father to the fatherless, a healer of the brokenness
You make beauty from the ashes
You're a helper to the helpless, a fighter for the hopeless
You love those who are alone, those who are alone
He knows your name, He knows your name

Fathers Day...First Day of Summer

So, it's Fathers Day, and I'm missing my Dad...he's been gone almost 5 months now.  This shirt he's wearing is now in my closet and it's one of my favorites.  I have a hard time looking at pictures of him because my brain can't come to terms with the reality.  But this picture reminds me of fun times with him.  And I'm also reminded that I will spend eternity with him.  And so compared to that, this fleeting fragment of time is nothing.

Today at church I could not keep the tears inside my face during the worship time.  Not because of my Dad (because I know that that is a settled issue), but because of my sadness, and also the bitterness I feel.  I'm sad because I'm leaving the church home I've had for 8 years.  And I'm bitter because I'm leaving with the knowledge that I've been deemed "not good enough" to sing one song, or even play guitar, with the praise band.  I will never understand that.

Ephesians 4:31-32 ESV 
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

I will strive towards forgiveness. Not for their benefit, but for mine, because I'm the one who is hurt.  I'm not sure how hard it will be for me to try again at my next church, but praying that God will give me the confidence back that has been crippled in me.   I'm sure that some day I will look back and say, "Yeah, God worked that out just right."  But for now I feel like it's too bad things had to end on this note ♩.

We had another showing on our house today - no feedback as of this moment.

Darryl and I went to Don Jose Mexican Restaurant for Father's Day dinner, and then floated on some rafts in our pool.  First day of summer, and first day in our pool.   Pretty nice.

Next week is our big town-wide garage sale.  yippy...

singing my way out of NJ

Today Darryl has been doing work around the house.  My back was so stiff and painful when I got up this morning that I wasn't helping too much.  Decided to take a muscle relaxer (which I never do!) and just play guitar.  I was having so much fun singing that I decided to record some of the songs.  I used to record my songs quite frequently when I was first learning guitar, and I hadn't been doing it for such a long time, so today I thought it was a great idea.  In Sept. I will have been playing guitar for 2 years.

Yes, there is hammering and other distractions in the background, but oh well. It was a fun morning!
I had done this one at an open mic once.



Darryl decided to stand right there and make faces at me to try to trip me up....haha... funny guy!



This is one that I did with Ryan at an open mic over the winter.



I think I'm just going to post a ton more videos.  It's a lot more fun and a lot less stressful than trying to record "professional" audios.  And I have no mic or recording equipment here, so this will be a nice way to end my time in NJ!!   These will become some of my final memories here.

Tomorrow we have a showing first thing in the morning while we're at church, so that will work out just fine.  Hoping to get a good offer soon!

a couple of songs i'm learning

Today I worked like a dog cleaning a disgusting garage, and also did a little painting.  After supper I got my guitar out and tried a couple of songs. These are both relatively new for me, but I'm doing my best to learn them. The vocals are quiet because I don't have my mic here anymore.  It feels good to be singing and playing again, since I had put it down for such a long time.  Gotta get my rhythm back.  It's sad to think that it's been over a year since my boys and I sang at church together.

i left my heart in wyoming...

this is the beautiful clematis growing up my mailbox!

getting in a quick game of pool 

my new home town

a view from the stairway to our new living room

We just got back from Michigan.  It feels weird and a bit sad to be back in NJ, where I feel isolation and loneliness.   Spending a week in Michigan was wonderful.  It gave us a taste of how life could be!  It is the kind of life I want.  I finally felt a sense of belonging...a joy that I'd been missing for so long.  I got my guitar back out and starting singing again.  Now I know my heart is out there.

I miss my boys.
I miss my new house.
I miss the fish pond and waterfall, and the frogs.
I miss the beautiful yard and flowers.
I miss the friendly neighbors.
I miss everything there.

We haven't heard anything from our realtor for a while.  "Melissa!  What's happening?"

Not worrying...

Nope.  Trusting God.

hammock over a fish pond

koi pond and frogs

We had another super busy day!!  Kyle had a nice time hanging his hammock up after a long day of moving stuff, buying stuff, cleaning stuff, and setting stuff up.  Things are coming along...

I just love our little fish pond.   I love our back yard.  I love our house and our neighborhood.  This is a wonderful area.

at home in Wyoming

new home

lovely peonies from my yard

our house number

living room

living room

living room looking into kitchen

first desk

second deck

third deck

view from deck

view from deck

This will be our third day here. It is so nice here.  Frankly, it is awesome.  We are still having trouble believing we "live" here.   We aren't anywhere near being moved in yet, considering half of our stuff is still in NJ, but it definitely is starting to feel more like home.   Looking forward to having a life here with my boys.   Just walking around the yard or sitting on the deck and listening to the water falling down the little fish pond, watching all the frogs jumping in the water...looking at all the amazing flowers, and birds, it's so peaceful.  It's like living in a park.  And I don't have to worry about deer eating all my plants or about bears intruding into the yard!  I don't have to cross the street to get my mail.  I have always wanted to live on a culdesac.  I'm so amazed that we finally do!

It's still going to be a lot of work.  Need to sell our other home.  There has been some interest in it, but no offers yet.  Need to sell or get rid of all of the stuff that we're not bringing with us (furniture, exercise equipment, lawn equipment, go kart...so much stuff!)  We need to bring another final pod of stuff over when we move...and then have tons of boxes to sort through.  Yes, moving is very hard, very stressful, very tiring, but I think in the long run this has been a good decision.

harbinger of a new life

I successfully drove my car all the way to Canton yesterday.  So proud of myself.  Drove the rest of the way to Grand Rapids today.

We visited Res Life church, which is very close to our new home.  I wasn't a fan, but Darryl liked it a lot.  It was way too loud and over the top for me.  Today they had a guest speaker, the author of The Harbinger and some other books, Jonathan Cahn.  He talks a lot about signs and things for Israel.  I guess I'm not buying into all the signs, and the timing of things the way he states it.  But you can decide for yourself.

So, I'm freaking out here in our hotel room.  Tomorrow morning we are the proud owners of a new home in freaking Wyoming, Michigan.  Seriously?  Neither one of us is sure of what's going on here.  We might love it and be very happy here, or we might think oh good gracious, what have we done?  We'll give it a year to see what we think of living here.

In the mean time, Melissa had an open house at our house in NJ today.  There are 2 interested parties, and a possible offer coming in.  If we do get an offer after only a couple of showings that would be amazing.   We are both kind of sitting back in awe watching as this venture in our lives unfolds.  We don't know what's going to happen, but we're doing the best we can while placing our trust in God.

Happy that we got to see Ryan today, and had lunch at Pietro's, where he works.  It was a good meal!

We'll probably just try to hang out, veg, whatever, to get through the next 15 hours or so until we go to the new house/closing tomorrow.  We're both exhausted.

JUST LISTED brochures

Melissa made up some brochures to help sell our house.  Nice job.

Our fire inspection was today.  The inspector told us that houses in Roxbury typically sell in 2-3 weeks.  That would certainly be fast!

We had another showing today but have not heard how it went yet.  Hoping to get some feedback.

Tomorrow early we are driving out to Michigan in 2 cars.  My little Buick Encore is saying it's final goodbyes to NJ.  I might soon  be following.

We have been given a very interesting opportunity (through Samaritan's Purse) of housing a college student in Michigan for her first year in the U.S.  We are seriously thinking of taking her in.  Her parents would like her to be a part of a Christian family... and we might just be that family.

Much to think and pray about, huh?

kyle's random life events

Here are some pictures of Kyle and Hilary's formal that I forgot to post earlier.  Aren't they adorable?

And here are some from their trip to Montana with Travis.  They had a very memorable trip!

first showing

Here is our listing in Realtor.com

I think Melissa did a good job of taking pictures.
We actually had our first showing yesterday.  It was kinda weird and crazy because they were an hour and a half late so I was back home and started cooking dinner by the time they showed up.  And then they were in and out in 10 minutes.  So much for my hour spent going to Walmart and Panera.

Oh well.  It's in God's hands.  It could sell in a week or a month or it could take a year.  Only God knows.   I'm trusting in His goodness, and fairness in all situations.

We have another showing scheduled for Friday.

on the market!

Melissa taking pictures

We are officially on the market.  I will post a link to the listing just as soon as I get it.

1 week from today we close on our new house.

My stomach is full of fluttering butterflies, and they won't be calmed.

I'm scared... excited...nervous...anxious...sad...happy, all mixed up.

So now the showings begin.  We have a lock box on the front door and I need to keep the house clean all the time.  I plan on making lots of trips to Panera while people are here going through.  Too bad I can't hang out at a neighbors house.

This is gonna be so weird.