So, it's Fathers Day, and I'm missing my Dad...he's been gone almost 5 months now. This shirt he's wearing is now in my closet and it's one of my favorites. I have a hard time looking at pictures of him because my brain can't come to terms with the reality. But this picture reminds me of fun times with him. And I'm also reminded that I will spend eternity with him. And so compared to that, this fleeting fragment of time is nothing.
Today at church I could not keep the tears inside my face during the worship time. Not because of my Dad (because I know that that is a settled issue), but because of my sadness, and also the bitterness I feel. I'm sad because I'm leaving the church home I've had for 8 years. And I'm bitter because I'm leaving with the knowledge that I've been deemed "not good enough" to sing one song, or even play guitar, with the praise band. I will never understand that.
Ephesians 4:31-32 ESV
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
I will strive towards forgiveness. Not for their benefit, but for mine, because I'm the one who is hurt. I'm not sure how hard it will be for me to try again at my next church, but praying that God will give me the confidence back that has been crippled in me. I'm sure that some day I will look back and say, "Yeah, God worked that out just right." But for now I feel like it's too bad things had to end on this note ♩.
We had another showing on our house today - no feedback as of this moment.
Darryl and I went to Don Jose Mexican Restaurant for Father's Day dinner, and then floated on some rafts in our pool. First day of summer, and first day in our pool. Pretty nice.
Next week is our big town-wide garage sale. yippy...
No comments:
Post a Comment