it's all just dust in the wind...

The day has come and gone now.

Ryan and Kyle and I did our thing at Preakness this past Sunday morning.  Ryan was super pleased how everything went!  Zuke and Darryl were also very happy.  I'm so glad Zuke made it out to see us.  She was wonderful with encouraging words.  And Darryl was great doing the sound board and giving me "thumbs up" when I looked over at him... and Zuke was smiling so big!!  What a great feeling to make my family and vocal coach proud.  haha...  It was so cool though...at least 16 people came up to me to say "great job" or something else nice.  Ryan did a fantastic job leading, and playing guitar and piano...and Kyle was awesome on his violin and djembe.  And at the end of the service after our closing song when I was playing guitar with Ryan, the congregation applauded!  It was so dang cool!  I've never heard them do that before.  I hope I can hear that on the video.

Zuke wrote on Facebook that she wants me to do a solo at church now... hahaha... yeah right.  She and Emma are gonna come do the music and harmony for me.

I am hoping to post a video here as soon as Kyle gets it ready.... I am hoping I can post something that sounds good.  Unfortunately the audio that was recorded through the sound board wasn't that great... so I am really hoping the video is a lot better.

We went out to a Thai restaurant last night, after a day of relaxing and vegging. It was my first time ever having Thai food.  It was Ok, but I don't think I would crave it.  However, I did have some crispy duck for the very first time and it was very good.

flaming ice cream

the boys

For what is your life?

It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.

James 4:14

my new guitar

 I got my new guitar today! It is so amazing and exciting!  I can't believe I got it.

So today we packed up the car and took our music equipment to church to set up for Sunday worship leading.  It went exceedingly well at practice.  Everybody did a super good job!  

We had a great day.  I'm excited about Sunday.

Christmas Eve

Ryan did a fabulous job on his 2 special music songs.  I confess, I get envious of people who get to sing with him.  Ok, let's face it, I am emotional.  I forgot to make cookies for Christmas morning.  I forgot to buy food to make Christmas dinner!!  What is wrong with me?  I feel like whatever I've done to prepare for Christmas isn't good enough.  I miss my daughter and my grandson....I wish my parents didn't live so far away...I wish I had a friend....I'm tired.

Tomorrow is Christmas.  I have no idea what we will have for our dinner.  We might be the only family in New Jersey having eggs for Christmas dinner.  How pitiful is that...

Oh well, I'm so blessed to have Ryan and Kyle here.  I will concentrate on that.  I will think about how God is so faithful, how fortunate I am that that both of my sons are saved.  They are both good godly men who love the Lord and live lives pleasing to Him.  I couldn't have asked for two better sons than them.  I am thankful that they are my friends and that they love me.  And I am thankful that my husband takes care of me.   Tomorrow will end up being a good day, even if I cry at some point.

home for the holidays!

Our wonderful sons are home!!  I've been so busy with them and doing stuff that I haven't had time to write on here.  We finally got our tree decorated the other day, and took a couple of fun pictures to remember it by.  Below are a couple of pictures of the "before" hair cuts.

We had a lesson with Zuke last week to go over the final arrangements for our songs on Sunday.  Zuke loved the boys, and we had a great time with her.  She is coming to church this week to see us sing!! On Wednesday we had our CBC party... and last night we went to the Christmas play at church.  Lots of fun times.  And they will continue as the days go on, to finish off the year.

It's so great having the boys here at home again.  It's like the good old days, lots of laughter, and talking, and singing, and musical instruments playing, and cooking and eating... and silliness!  I do miss that a lot.

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve.  Kyle and I will have the day together... we will go to Grace at 3:00 to see Darryl and Ryan (Ryan is performing a couple of special songs).  We will have dinner there, then head to Preakness for the service there.

Friday we are going back to Preakness to practice for Sunday, and then going to look for a guitar for me for Christmas.  That will be super exciting!

end of year jitters

 This is the ear warmer snuggly thing that Ryan got me that I am wearing...as well as the wishbone necklace that Kyle got me (for my birthday).  The reason I look so worn out is because this was taken at the end of a very long and stressful car ride back home from West Virginia over Thanksgiving.  But alas, I am smiling because of the joy my boys brought me.

Here's Darryl when he was getting prepped for his knee surgery.  Another really long day.  And now,  only 4 days later and he was able to drive himself to church and walk with one crutch.  Not bad.  And as of today I am done giving him injections!  I had to give him 2 each day into his abdomen and that was not fun at all!

So here's what's happening:

My two wonderful sons are driving home from Michigan on Tuesday!  That will be a very long and worrisome day for these 2 parents.  Will be praying for safety all the way home...and nice weather.

On Wednesday, these 2 sons of mine and I are heading to Zuke's for my final lesson before we sing at church.  She has been good enough to arrange all of our songs for us, except the hymn which we hadn't picked yet... and I think all of the songs are going to be great.  We may even get to meet Emma Brooke while we are there.

Oh, who is Emma Brooke, you ask?  Here, check out this song she wrote: Wishing he was you. This is the girl that Zuke is hooking me up with to sing at Preakness.  She is going to sing harmony for me, and Zuke is going to play piano.  That will sure be a sweet day!

Oh yes, let's not forget about the CBC Christmas party.  It'll be fun having the boys there.
Thursday I think we will decorate the tree and maybe put up a couple of decorations in the house so we at least know it's Christmas.  And then the 3 of them will be off to church to practice for the four Christmas Eve services.

Haircuts will be one of the first things done I think.
Sunday is the children's play at Preakness.  That will be fun.
Then we need to rush around and do some Christmas shopping and wrapping.
Christmas Eve service at Grace all day... I wonder where that leaves me for the day?
Christmas comes and goes, and then we sing at Preakness.  Yay!  Can't wait! :-)
Then we need to get the house ready for Hilary and folks from GBC.
Then Ryan's tour begins.
Preakness Christmas Party.
Fun with Kyle and Hilary... skiing?  shopping?  cooking?  New York?

Well, I don't want to get too far ahead of myself.  That's as far as my mental dump is going.  I'm trying to get myself in a Christmas mood, but it's not easy.  Sometimes I don't feel all that joyful.  But like Pastor Karl says, we need to trust Christ and put Him first!  And also, I am thanking God my boys will be here!  At least we will have part of my family with us for Christmas, and I will just have to trust Christ with the rest of them.

When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy. 

Psalm 94:19

'Tis the season

Me and Darryl at a magical Christmas Party :)

I haven’t written for a while.  Truth is I’ve been stressed out about a bad relationship.

Why does everything have to be so difficult?  Why does there have to be so much DRAMA?  Why is there always an edge of unforgiveness and resentment?  How old do I have to get before there is peace?  That’s what I’d like to know.  And I’d also like to know why I am hated so much.

I’ve been accused of not taking ownership of what I’ve done.  I’d like to know exactly what it is that I have done.  I’ve apologized for not being perfect.  Are you perfect?  Romans 3:23 says “all have sinned”.  Every one of us has made mistakes, done things wrong.  No one has ever been perfect except for my Savior; the One I am accused of hiding behind.  I realize this was said to me to belittle me - to make me feel inferior and inadequate, as is normally the case, but there is some truth in it.

Psalm 17:8 says “Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings.”

Colossians 3:3 says “For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.”

I love God’s word.  I’m glad that the life I have in Christ is so obvious that it gets thrown in my face as an insult.  God’s word is foolishness to those who don’t have a relationship with God.  It can’t be understood by them because they don’t have the Holy Spirit living in them.

1 Corinthians 1:18 says “For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.”

1 Corinthians 2:14 says “The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit.”

I guess I have just answered one of my first questions… of why I am hated so much.  It’s because of Jesus.  What other explanation can there be? 

In John 15:18 Jesus said, “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.”

Jesus died for a world that hated him.  What am I supposed to do for those who hate me?  God knew that we would be hated because of His Son.  That message is very clear in the Bible.  When Jesus came to earth He stated (Matthew 10) that His coming would divide families; “turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.”  The truth separates people.

How many times can I turn the other cheek?  How many insults do I need to take?  How much love am I able to give?  These are the things that keep me awake at night.  Sure, it’s easy to say, “Oh just be loving and extend grace.”  Yeah, it’s easy to say.  It’s not always so easy living it.  I’m not even sure what love should look like right now.

This seems to be an on-going, year-by-year saga that never ends, and the air never gets cleared.  I am angry and hurt, but I am thankful that I have a Father in heaven who comforts me.  I pray that one day you will know the love of God, and get rid of all the hatred and bitterness you are holding onto.  I pray that one day my God will be your God, and my Savior your Savior.  I pray that you will receive His forgiveness so that you can move forward with your life.  I pray that with God’s strength I can do His will in this.

Honor your father and mother....or else

Exodus 20:12 “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you. 

Deuteronomy 5:16 “Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you. 

Matthew 15:4 For God said, ‘Honor your father and mother’ and ‘Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.’ 

Ephesians 6:1-3 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”

Looks like a recurring theme.  And at first glance it may seem like this is just an Old Testament command; something for people who lived thousands of years ago; something that we need not bother ourselves with today.  After all, the Bible was written by a bunch of old dudes, right?   I mean, look at our world today.  Nobody really takes this stuff seriously, right? 

It looks to me like God takes this very seriously!   Right from the beginning God is abundantly clear how important this command was.  There would be very good outcomes for obedience. 

1.      “that you may live long”

2.      “and that it may go well with you”

Oh, and what did God say about those who cursed their parents?  Oh yeah, they are “to be put to death.”

Can you imagine what our world would look like if that was a law today?  There wouldn’t be very many people left, would there?  So, again we might think that this commandment is not really for us.  But then wait; it is right there again mentioned by Paul in our present dispensation.  That means it is definitely for us today.  But look around today and what do we see?  We see children who are disrespectful and disobedient to their parents, lying to them, dishonoring them in every way imaginable. 

We see 2 Timothy 3:1-5 is alive and well.

 

 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God—having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.

 

Look, nobody’s parents are perfect.  We are imperfect sinners, every one of us.  We can all point to something our parents did that we don’t like or agree with.  Does that give us the right to bash them, curse them, lie to them, disrespect them, or dishonor them?  Absolutely not!!  We extend grace, and we love and honor them the way we should, even when we don’t agree with them.  That is God’s way!  When we honor our parents it does go well with us.  Try disrespecting them and you will have a heap of trouble on your hands.    The obvious conclusion from Ephesians is that if you do not honor your parents, you won’t live a long life, and things won’t go so well for you.  You want to take that chance?   Do you really want to be remembered as that nasty B?  Not me, man!   I want everyone who knows me to remember the love of Christ.

 

We are here one day and gone the next.  Make it matter for eternity.  Don’t spend your life blaming your parents for all your problems, or resenting them for doing their best.   Grow up and take responsibility for your life and your choices.  Get out of your pity box and make a difference in the world.  Above all else, give your life to Jesus Christ, the one perfect person who died to take away all your sins so that you could live with Him forever.   Do it now before it is too late.  This might be your last chance to get right with God.