Thankful God provides a cure for cancer

me and Ethan

Dana and Ethan

Thanksgiving Dinner

Happy Thanksgiving!

Here we are in West Virginia visiting with Mom and Dad, and Scott and Flo.  We are having a nice time, but eating too much.  Ethan is getting so big and cute and is really beginning to talk more!  Little kids are so fun when they start talking!

So happy that Mom and Dad are doing so well.  A couple of years ago Dad was so sick and was near death.  Between fibromyalgia, and kidney failure, and possibly a heart attack and God only knows what else was wrong with him, and the doctors said there was really nothing they could do for him.  They sent him home with a bunch of prescriptions, some of which made him feel worse.  My mom did her research and found natural remedies using herbs and vitamins.  Today my Dad is completely free of every prescription and he is well!  Praise God for that.  So thankful that my mom didn't just roll over and accept the word of doctors!

I do a bit of my own research and find it appalling that our medical world rejects natural remedies because no one can make money from them.  Doctors, hospitals, and drug companies WANT us fat, sick, and dying, especially with cancer.  There is so much money to be made from cancer treatments.  It breaks my heart how many people have to go through needless radiation and chemo because doctors won't tell their cancer patients the truth, that there was a cure for cancer 40 years ago.

Just as scurvy was a deadly disease brought on by a vitamin C deficiency, so it is with cancer today being brought on by a lack of B17 in our diets today.  And any doctor who has investigated it and knows the truth is legally not even allowed to tell you about it, or prescribe it.  What the heck kind of world do we live in where it is against the law to cure CANCER!!

Ok, that is the end of my rant for today.  But boy, this sure burns me up.

google it, or watch this YouTube:
G. Edward Griffin - A World Without Cancer - The Story Of Vitamin B17

There are plenty of other videos to watch, but this one is pretty good.  Or get the book by G. Edward Griffin - A World Without Cancer.  When I  bought my first bottle of amygdalin (B17 or laetrile) back in 2007 it was only available from Mexico.  Now you can buy it (or Apricot seeds) directly from Amazon! Cancer does not have to exist in our world.  It is so easy to prevent it.

If you want to be healthy, or if you have a health issue, your first course of action shouldn't be running to your doctor to get a dangerous drug.  It should be to diligently research all the God-given natural resources such as food, herbs and vitamins.  There is a wealth of healing out there if we are willing to do the work to find it.

A Change Is Gonna Come

I got some very nice surprises in the mail from my wonderful sons this week.   Kyle got me a little necklace with a wishbone on it, and Ryan sent the flowers (I think there is something else coming too).  Darryl got me some jewelry and took me out to eat at Mattar's Bistro.  I actually very much enjoyed my dinner because it was something I don't know how to make at home and would probably never try.  I had lobster ravioli.  It wasn't cheap, but it was good!  It's ok to splurge once in a while, and what better time than a birthday?  We even went out for ice cream afterward... HUGE splurge!

Today I took the day off from practicing my song.  I think I am getting way too overwhelmed and frazzled trying to sing it perfectly.  I'm never going to be perfect and I have to be ok with that.  If I get up the nerve to get up on that stage again, I just pray that it is GOOD! (please God?)

I think if I was just singing along with Ryan doing a set (like we did the first time) I wouldn't be that nervous... but doing a solo?  What was I thinking?  Well, I did do that one solo in June and that went very well.  I'm really glad Zuke will be there in church that day!  I hope that in the next month I'm not such a complete basket case!  I really hope that between now and then I can gain some MUCH needed confidence because I'm at an all time low.  I really have to question why I wanted to do this so much.

Oh, in other news, a move to Michigan might be in our future after the boys graduate from GBC.  The one state that I told God I would never move to - good old Michigan.  Yup, very funny. This is the same sense of humor God had when He had me homeschool my boys from kindergarten to college... ME, a highschool drop out.  So I guess now He is preparing me for more changes.  Darryl is finally leaving the government next May.  I'm wondering what that will look like.  It might be a chance for us to take trips... we could go to India or Malaysia or Dubai... lol yeah right.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways submit to him,

and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6

I'm afraid I have this fear of....

The further I go with my vocal lessons, the more I am learning about myself.  Today Darryl asked me what was the main thing I learned that helped me to produce more tone, and not be so closed up.  As I started giving my answer (blowing through a straw), I realized that my problem with singing really helped me identify a problem with ME.  It was a fear issue.  I was literally AFRAID to allow the words, or song, to come out of my mouth. I was afraid of being heard.  Afraid of sounding stupid. Afraid of being made fun of.  And this isn't just about singing.  It pretty describes me and how I have felt most of my life.  I've been afraid to speak, afraid to be heard in conversations, and most definitely afraid to let anyone hear my singing voice.  And what do we do when we are afraid?  We hold everything in.  

The biggest thing I had to learn while taking lessons, is that if I don't breathe out, I can't make any sound.  I know this must sound so elementary and basic to anyone reading this.  But to me, it's huge!  If singing can help me overcome my fear of being heard, I think it can help me in relationships as well.  Maybe I can learn to NOT BE AFRAID to talk to people.  Maybe I can learn how not to be afraid of sounding dumb.  And just maybe I will actually be able to speak without being flustered, or turn red, or have a melt down.  

I'm not sure where all these fears came from, but I know they have affected a good part of my life and made me vulnerable to abusive and controlling men.  I was too afraid to speak my mind and break free from them.  And it has certainly kept me from being able to participate in conversations, because even when I TRIED to speak up, I was either too quiet for anyone to hear me, or I was just awkward and clumsy because I didn't know how to get my words out.  Obviously I wasn't scared and nervous in all situations, because there are times when I talk too much, but certainly it has been an issue in my life. 

I'm so glad I'm learning how to breathe, and how to speak, and how to sing.  It is a great release for me, and a tool for growth. I do have a voice for speaking words and for singing, and I want so much to be able to use it without fear.   I'm so thankful that I won't die with my music still in me.

I, even I, will sing to the Lord; 
I will sing praise to the Lord God of Israel.

Judges 5:3 

While I live I will praise the Lord; 
I will sing praises to my God while I have my being.

Psalm 146:2 

Happy Bird-day to me

Window feeder

My birthday is this month so I went to Walmart and bought myself some bird feeders.  It's fun watching the feeding frenzy out my front window.  There are so many different kinds of birds out there.  They seem happy.  Maybe they enjoy my singing.

Do you ever find that you worked so hard to get some place in life and then you wonder why you are even there?  Or do you ever have a dream or a goal in life that you realize just isn't going to happen?  What happens when you wake up one day and realize your life isn't what you thought it was?  What do you do?  Do you panic, throw up your arms, and quit?  Or do you just stay put and let God sort it out?   I know this much: I'm tired.  I'm tired of being invisible, tired of not belonging, tired of not having any close friends.   Somewhere out there there must be a place where I can have real community.  Where people really care about me, appreciate me, want to be with me, be my friend.  I don't know where that is, but someday I hope God finds it for me.

I'm looking forward to getting away soon.  I think I need to get away for a long time.  Maybe try to figure out what to do with my life.

first sewing project

OK, so here is the purpley shirt I made this week.  It was a little too big, but oh well.  At least I don't think anyone looked at me and thought, "Good gracious... what is that hideous thing Linda is wearing?"  haha... I even got one compliment on it.  Cool, huh?

So, I was sitting in church today and I was thinking about singing my song there.  I was imagining being up on the stage and trying to open my mouth to let out a sound.  It really freaked me out.  I hope that Zuke can show me how to be calm because right now I'm too traumatized from the last time to even get up there and try again.  I have little over a month to get ready.  I wonder what Zuke is going to say to me to get me prepped.   She told me she is not nervous for me at all.  I need some of that confidence!!  I guess what I really need is people who support me...but that is another whole story.

I need to remember, it's not for me.  It's for them.  It's not about me.  It's about Christ coming to earth as a baby.  It's not about my talent.  It's about telling the story of heaven's love reaching down to save the world.

For unto us a Child is born, 

Unto us a Son is given; 

And the government will be upon His shoulder. 

And His name will be called Wonderful, 

Counselor, Mighty God, 

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. 

Isaiah 9:6

do re mi fa SEW

Since I got those videos out of the way this week, I decided to take a little break from guitar and singing and started sewing today.  I was so lucky I got several $20 patterns for only $1.40 each!   And I'm using some of the fabric I bought last year that was discounted by 70-90 %. This purpley thing is going to be turtleneck shirt tomorrow.  If it comes out any good I'll model it.  haha....

And this is what the kids are up to:

April and Ryan doing fun stuff

Ethan and Dana trick or treating

Hilary and Kyle at a football game

I miss them.  I'm so glad I have a lot of different things in my life to do.  I am never bored, never lacking of things to do.  And that is a good thing.

...that you also aspire to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business,

and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you...

1 Thessalonians 4:11

Give me Jesus, He loves me right HERE

Give Me Jesus
  


 Jesus Loves Me
 


HERE
 

Ok, so I'm finally posting a few things for my 2 month guitar update.  I feel a strong need to apologize for my obvious lack of pleasant soundingness, but I guess it is what it is. I have to come to terms with reality.  I am accepting God's will in all of this, whatever that may be.

I know some day down the road I will look back on these times and either laugh, or just shake my head and wonder what on earth was I thinking.

My blooper