I am beginning to think that the reason Emma and I met is so that she can find a church home. I was happy when she told me she is coming to church Sunday....with her family! I hope they will be happy at Preakness. Not only will Emma be at church Sunday, but also Kyle and Hilary and 2 of their friends will be there! It will be so sweet to see them and have some laughter and activity in the house.
I am beginning to wonder why I am taking vocal lessons, and why I'm learning guitar. I'm wondering what I'm going to use them for. I mean, sure I can sing and play in my living room. But I don't know what my ultimate goal is. Where am I headed? My desire to sing and play tends to cause problems for others. I know from my experience worship leading with Ryan and Kyle that the only way I'm going to make any good progress is to actually get out there and do it with someone. I miss having Ryan here because just playing guitar with him that one time was awesome and very beneficial... but I've had no more opportunities like that since he left. Sometimes I just feel like I'm going to burst. Sometimes I get really depressed because I have no outlet. Sometimes I feel really alone. I just keep strumming along...but I can't help wondering if I'm wasting my time.
I'm not complaining. I'm just venting...thinking...wondering...because I obviously don't know the future. So, I'm trying to be patient. I'm trying to wait for God's timing. I can't help but wonder what God has in store.
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| Loneliness |
Proverbs 16:9
A man’s heart plans his way,
But the Lord directs his steps.
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