when someone you love dies
and you're not sure if they knew Jesus.
There can be no genuine smile, or laughter;
in the unknowing.
There is only pain, and many tears.
There is only sadness and regret.
Why didn't I try harder?
Why didn't I say more?
How can I go through life now;
without the assurance?
So many memories,
over so many years.
They come flooding back when I least expect it.
I hear that familiar voice,
that familiar laugh,
that familiar expression.
I see his face. I hug him. I tell him I love him.
But I can't say goodbye.
My heart is broken.
People have said that we can't know for sure the state of someone's heart, or whether they had accepted Christ as their Savior at some point. So, I will hope in God that at some moment in his life, he did.
"O my soul, why are you so overwrought? Why are you so disturbed? Why can't I just hope in God? Despite all my emotions, I will hope in God again. I will believe and praise the One who saves me and is my life, my Savior and my God." - Psalm 43:5
update: I recently found out that my Dad did have a personal relationship with the Lord, so I am praising God for this! Now I can know that I will see him again in glory.
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