Dear Ethan, I don’t know you, but I already love you. I won’t forget about you. I will watch you grow through your mommy’s Facebook profile picture. I’m glad she puts your face there so I can see what you look like.
Love, Grandma”
“Biblical tough love, however, is based on eternal truth. It is motivated by attempting to shock the deeply spiritually rebellious out of their stupors into repentance. Anything less than tough love won't get the job done. If in doubt, check it out with Jesus' record in the Gospels.
However, caution: The one activating tough love must be willing to pay the awful price of being misunderstood and considered hard-hearted and uncaring. He must go through much of life on a lonely track. There will be very few who will have the courage to acknowledge his position to be scriptural -- let alone sane.”
I don’t know who wrote this but I liked it. I am already starting to hear that I am not extending love and grace. I am hearing that it is my fault there is a barrier between us, and that it is up to me to go and knock on her door and demand to see my grandson. I will be blamed by people who don’t even know my story, and they will look at me as the bad guy here. After all, I am the Christian; I am the one who is supposed to be forgiving.
And I'm all for love, grace and forgiveness. I did it for years. But I think there comes a point where you have to say “No more!” Now I think it's time for some tough love. That is the one thing we never did, and it is my one big regret. I should have been tough years ago and maybe this situation could have been avoided. I was wrong to enable this kind of behavior. I was always too mushy and quiet and passive and gentle. I didn’t discipline as I should have. So, for that I am to blame. That doesn’t mean I should let things continue as they have been.
I might miss out on Ethan’s first years, and that makes me utterly sad, bordering on depressed, but I am trusting God to get me through it. I’m not giving up on Ethan or abandoning my daughter. She has abandoned me. When she is ready to come to her senses, I will be here.
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
No comments:
Post a Comment