a musical milestone for mom

Today is my 2 year anniversary of playing guitar.  What a journey this has been.  Too bad I didn't think to record something special for such a special day.  I will have to do that when I have a chance!

Today the big trailer arrived.  We have 3 days to get it packed!  I'm kinda nervous about it...carrying that heavy furniture up the ramp into that thing.  That is one huge truck!  I remember how hard it was when we did it with Kyle and Hilary helping, and that was on ground level!  I hope we can pull this off on our own without any injuries.

the deer have been having a feast in my garden

So now my garden is all chewed up, stepped on, and pooped on... it's so gross.  I hate deer.

I'm still contemplating the whole subject of God's will.  I mean, how do we know?  How do we ever know?  Is it an open door?  Does that always mean it's God will?  Is it when things just happen to fall into place?  Or is it when you have to work really hard for something, but then you never get it?  Is it God's will that we work harder....or that we just give up?  Because if things don't fall into place, isn't that telling us it's not God's will?  Or is it telling us that God's will for us is to strive harder?  Is it a test?  Is it just whatever happens?  Because ultimately nothing happens unless God allows it.  But then, is His will the same as "allowing things to happen"?  It is so confusing.  I don't know how we ever really know what His will is.  Even if something good happens, does that mean that is what He intended?  Or could it also mean that something bad happened first and then He turned it around?  Oh my goodness...I could drive myself crazy trying to understand this.  I don't think I ever will.

An acquaintance of mine was letting the world know that God is good and really blessed him because he sold his house in 48 hours.  He had several offers, including a cash offer that was above his asking price.  It really made me stop and think.  He is saying God is good and blessed him because of his great fortune.  But does that mean that because our house hasn't sold that that somehow implies that God isn't as good to me?  Does it mean that God isn't blessing me?  I don't understand God's will and I surely don't understand God's blessings.  I would hate to think that blessings always relates to money or possessions.

I find God's blessings when my husband stops what he's doing to walk into the room where I've been playing guitar for hours and he tells me I'm doing some good work!  Or he takes the time to tell me I'm sounding good when I sing.  Or a blessing is when my boys call me on the phone to talk, confide, ask our advice, laugh, and in general, include me in their lives.  My blessings come when a friend appreciates what I did for them.  Saying "Thank you.  Saying "I love you."  These are blessings.   For whatever reasons, sometimes we don't even recognize our blessings until they are behind us.   And then we say, "Thank God it worked out right when it did!"

It's time for us to just lay it all before our mighty God and surrender it.  I give up.  This is me shrugging.  I'm getting good at shrugging.  I'm getting good at not caring.  Why should I care?  God's in control.  I'm just along for the ride, bumpy as it may be at times.